I woke up this morning and there was a midget eating a meatball sandwich at the side of my bed. I look over and he's just chomping away. So I say, "May I help you midget?" And he said that he was a dwarf that can give me superhuman powers, like spiderman's webs, the hulk's strength, or even magneto's magnetic power. He told me to choose wisely because that's what I'll be with for the remainder of my life. So I thought long and hard...I decided to take aquaman's power to call for the help of any sea creature in the ocean (I know it's hella weak, but I got some good ideas for these powers) So he smacked me with his meatball sandwich and he told me that I had those powers now. That midget is a little bastard though, because on my way out to the beach, I noticed I was missing 50 bucks from my wallet. Goddamn midgets. OK, well, I'm off to the beach now to try out my powers. I'll either write later today or tomorrow morning to let you know how it went.