I know I've been gone for a while, but there is a perfectly good explination. Remember that monkey I told you about...well, on the morning of the 21st I received a voicemail from him saying he was in Tijuana and that he was missing a kidney. So, since I don't have enough loot to fly to Mexico, I decided to drive. I saw alot of cool things on the road...went to many Big Boys burger shops (there aren't any where I live) I couldn't afford to sleep in luxurious hotels like Days Inn...so I checked in to a couple of Hours Inn..it was kinda cheesy, they only had B&W TVs, yet they had satellite. Weird. So I eventually got there in like 4 days, and met up with my monkey. For some reason he was wearing an eyepatch. I asked him if they took his eye too...and he said no, it just makes him look badass. So I went back to my car, and if I wasn't a monkey's uncle, there was only a cardboard box with the word "Car" on it. So I suspected that my car was stolen. I went to the local police station and they just laughed at my monkey with an eyepatch. So we had to figure out a way out of mexico. We first tried everything Rudy tried in "Born In East L.A.". Let me tell you guys something, the cops DO shoot when you get close to the border. You don't know how many dead immigrants I saw on that border. So then we tried selling oranges, but then patches ate the majority of them and rode in the cart on top of them. I tried telling my patrons that the monkey was there to seal in the freshness. Patches didn't really help though by farting everytime I told them that. So it was June 28th, and I was still in mexico. Patches and I were trying to sell oranges as usual when this Italian guy with a music box came up to me and asked me how much for the monkey. I told him a plane ticket to NJ, and he bought me the ticket. So, here I am, the flight was pretty good. The movie they had on board was "Short Circuit 2". I wonder why the 2nd one was more popular than the 1st one. "Oh no, not your shilk sirt" haha!